MIA

I realize I haven't posted on here in forever. And if this post shows up weird I apologize, I'm posting from my phone. I could list all of the excuses I have for neglecting this hobby of mine but it wouldn't matter. All I can say is I hope to do better. I've seen so many friend abandon blogging and it makes me sad. And here I am falling victim myself. Turns out it's hard to find me time when chasing a toddler around. And it's even harder to post on a blog when you have no computer. Please bear with me while we decide if I'm getting a new computer. I'll try to be more faithful but no promises.

Change of Address

And no I'm not talking street address.  This is a warning that I'll be changing the url for my blog.  When I first started the blog it was on a whim.  Now I've found my footing and a name I'm willing to keep.

Update: the new blog url is http://hopefulpessimistlife.blogspot.com

A month? Really?

Sadly, it's been a month since I've updated the blog.  It's so hard to believe that a month has really gone by.
The move has happened.  We are now living with my father.  Honestly, most of the time it's okay but I definitely have my 'I want out of here now' moments.  We go back and forth on how long we really want to be here.  Obviously our ultimate goal is to buy a house before we consider adding a second child to our family.  We shall see.  Right now we still have a lot of settling and unpacking to do.

Emy is eight months old now.  It's hard to believe how fast the time is going by.  She's turning into a toddler and I'm so not ready.  Her grandpa bought her her first pair of shoes and they're adorable.  I'll have to post pictures soon.

I'm still trying to figure out what weekly blog features I want to introduce as well as creating headers for them.  Hopefully now that things are calming down I can get that up and running soon.

And I promise not to let a whole month go by before I post again.

The month of craziness.

Yes, that is how I would like to describe how this month is going to be.  At the end of the month hubby, baby and I will be moving into my father's house.  It should be interesting but hopefully it will be a short term arrangement.  Thankfully hubby has a job now.  Actually two jobs for the summer.  One will carry on once school starts.  We're just in a rough place financially.  Hopefully things will turn around soon and we can get back out on our own.  Honestly, we haven't started packing yet.  We're already a week into the month and I feel so behind.  Yikes.  I know we will make it through but I already feel so overwhelmed.

On a more positive note, I'm thinking of starting up some weekly posting habits.  I haven't fully made up my mind yet but I have a lot of ideas swirling around my mind.  I probably won't start anything until we get settled at my dad's house but I'll definitely keep you updated.

A first I could have done without...

I am sick for the first time since becoming a mother and my dear Emberlynn is sick for the first time in her little life.  This house has been a little rough.  She's having a hard time sleeping because of the congestion and has become extremely clingy.  Of course, I'm exhausted and congested myself.  Poor hubby is just now starting to get sick.  Hopefully we can all get over this and it doesn't turn into a viscous circle of sickness.

Now that school is out for the semester, hopefully hubby can help me pack and clean as we prepare to move.  Yes I said move.  We're not moving too far.  Right now with our financial situation, we can no longer afford to live on our own.  We will be moving in with my father until hubby gets a stable job and we can build up some savings.  It's not an ideal situation but sometimes the right path is the hard path.  Although things might be taking a turn for the better as hubby has had a couple of interviews recently.

I had my second physical therapy session today.  So far I really like her which is such a relief.  I can't say that I enjoy it cause well it's hard to say that something like that is enjoyable.  I am definitely looking forward to being done with this struggle once and for all.

If you could, prayers would be greatly appreciated.  I know I've been asking for those a lot but we're still in a rough time.  I am definitely looking forward to better days but I do still love my current life.

Blog Redo.

Yes I redid the look and name of the blog.  Yes I realize I am probably stating the obvious.
I decided that my blog had been "dark" for a little too long.  As hubby and I face some serious struggles right now, I need all the "light" I can get so I decided to make the blog look all cheery for once.  Hope you all enjoy!

p.s. Hopefully, I will be posting a book review soon.  Plus I have updates and such and maybe I can even muster an insightful post or two :)

So much on my mind...

Here lately I've been doing a lot of thinking.  Thinking about the present and the future.  Hopefully I can get all of these thoughts out and into blog posts but we will see.  Hubby has drill this weekend so I'll be trying to post while Emy is napping.  We'll see how it all goes.  I just need to clear my mind or at least try.

home.

we made it home from vacation this sunday.  we now have my fifteen year old cousin staying with us for two weeks.  it was a great trip.  everyone adored the belly.  my mom loved feeling her first grandchild move.
all is still well in the world of pregnancy.  i've started having more braxton hicks contractions.  i had some really scary ones sunday night that would have caused me to go to the ER if they didn't stop.  i'll talk to my doc about them this coming friday at my appointment.  plus i'll be asking when my biweekly appointments start.
i guess thats all i have to say for now.  hope everyone is doing well.

update.

so it has been a really long time since i posted on here.  today i am leaving on vacation to visit family.  my family is looking forward to seeing my baby bump in person.  here are some other random updates...
the pregnancy is going well.  i am twenty-five weeks along now.  i only have two weeks left in my second trimester.  emy is definitely an active little one.  so far my body has handled pregnancy well.  i do have a lot of cramping and have already started having braxton hicks contractions but so far my doc says its pretty normal.
hubby finally heard back from the TSA (which he applied for in february) and had an interview and medical exam.  it could be another month before we hear anything else but it was good to at least move forward a couple of steps.
my first baby shower is scheduled for august 7th.  my sister is throwing it for me.  i am so excited!  and my second shower (thrown by my church) will be sometime in the last full week of august (either the 23rd or 27th).
and on a sadder note...i am pretty sure that i had announced my sister's pregnancy on here.  if not then i really have neglected this blog.  my sister was due january 7th but had a miscarriage that they discovered june 30th (when she would have been twelve weeks along) but they think her baby died three weeks before that.  she really is taking it well, all things considered.  they have a doctor's appointment this coming monday to discuss everything.  they plan to wait however long the doctor recommends and then will try again.  right now they have no reason to believe that she will not go on to carry a healthy pregnancy.
now it is time to get off here so i can eat breakfast, shower, and hit the road.  i hope everyone is having a wonderful summer!

update to nanny.

her mri and eeg came out normal. they discharged her yesterday and sent her home. wednesday she started recognizing her family again and i even got to talk to her on the phone. they really didn't figure out what caused this episode but the hospital agreed with the family that my nan needed a new doctor. we've been trying to talk her into getting a new doc but now we have the hospital's support. so things are looking good. we still have concerns that she is showing early symptoms of alzheimers (we've been concerned about that for a few years now but some of the family is just coming out of the denial stage) so her new doctor will be looking into that. all in all, things are looking good.

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its back!

my facebook came back on this past saturday.its good to have it back but a little weird since i wasn't on it for a week. everything looks the same. nothing looks messed up but i did have to reset my password, no biggie except now i have to remember it lol.

as for other news, next week is spring break!! my spring break won't be very exciting but i'm still looking forward to it. monday i have a dentist appointment and a doctor appointment. friday we leave for florida again. other than that the week is unassigned. we do need to go my dad's house and clean out my old car so it can be sold. i'm sure we'll spend some time with hubby's parents. and we plan to go visit one of hubby's good friends. i'm looking forward to it.

valentine's day.

so i know that this post is a little late but oh well. i have always loved valentine's day. it is a holiday that i believe is for more than couples. i believe that its a holiday that is also for families. but regardless of how anyone celebrates, i think that we should better incorporate love for each other into our daily lives. i'm glad we have a special day to remember but we should express our love to those who are special to us daily. this year, hubby and i really didn't do much. the money is super tight right now. saturday we went out for lunch and then i cooked dinner for us at home. sunday i worked nursery and then taught sunday school. we went out to eat with my dad which we don't do often so that was nice and then went to my in-laws to visit which is fairly normal for a sunday afternoon. all in all, it was a great weekend.

oh what a day.

yesterday started out rough. this cold had me feeling horrible. then i got in the shower and actually felt pretty good so i went to work. the four hour shift was fine. we were kind of slow and i only felt mildly sick. then i got home and started feeling horrible again. jesse told me that maintenance should be stopping by (he had called them yesterday morning for a toilet leak we discovered tuesday night). we decided i shouldn't go to church and risk getting the youth sick. jesse went out and picked up dinner from cracker barrel and dropped my concession keys off at church. he had only been home about twenty minutes when we heard a knock at the door. jesse grabs the door handle to open it since it was the maintenance people and the door won't open. seriously, THE DOOR WOULDN'T OPEN! he tried to turn it and it simply wouldn't turn. so jesse jumped off the balcony to talk to the maintenance people. the maintenance people went and got a ladder so that they could climb onto our balcony. they finally get our door to work and fixed out toilet. a normal day turned into an interesting one quick.
so far today i still feel horrible. i'm so ready for this to be over. oh well. i'll just stick to my sudafed and orange juice.

oh this cold...

and i am not talking about the weather. i am pretty sure i've caught a cold. so far its been a pretty mild cold but that doesn't mean i don't feel completely zapped. i'm so tired and my throat and nasal passages are inflamed with minor congestion. i'm sleeping propped up which isn't very comfortable but at least i can breathe, kind of. i'm so ready to be over this.

orlando.

so its official. hubby and i will be going to orlando, florida tomorrow morning. it will make for an early morning since the flight is at 6:10am. its going to be a long night since i doubt i will sleep much tonight. there is laundry and packing to be done. plus we plan to go to my in-laws house tonight to file our taxes. i hope that our trip is a good one. we'll be sitting through classes about communication and our relationship. it should be interesting. i think it will be a good get-away for us though. especially since our current financial situation is telling us that a vacation is not in our near future. with me in school and jesse looking for a job, things are very tight right now but with God i know we can make it. we must trust him. he is the only one that can get us through this rough financial season. but hopefully this weekend will bring a bit of relief to the stress i feel. wish us luck and safe travels.

so this weekend...

well it turned interesting quick. my hubby got a phone call thursday asking if he was packing yet. well long story short, jesse had to go to florida friday for a yellow ribbon post deployment training program. this past weekend was to ensure that he is successfully reintegrating into civilian life. all in all it turned out okay but the planning on such a short notice was stressful. we also found out that the first weekend in february, i will need to go down to florida with him to sit through classes for our marriage and relationship. i'm excited about the weekend get away.
then friday night after taking him to i attended a party at my sister's house. it was called a boudoir party. the purpose was to dress up and have sexy picture taken of yourself for your significant other. i was really nervous at first but it turned out really well. it helped that i've known the photographers for years. i actually took the above picture of myself while we were waiting for my hair to curl.
it was a good weekend after all but i'm glad that hubby is coming home tonight.

update.

sadly i didn't get to finish the blog carnival. i left for missouri on the 20th to visit my family and haven't had internet until now. i'm now in oklahoma (only about thirty minutes away from where i was in missouri). we'll be in oklahoma until the 29th and then we'll go back to missouri for our last night. we will be leaving to go back home on the 30th. its been a great trip although having a white christmas is much more stressful when you have to drive in it. i've spent all of my time with my mom's side of the family but because of weather haven't seen my dad's side of the family. they live on back roads that won't be cleared by plows. hopefully we'll get to see them before we head home.
plus i just got to check my final grades. i did pretty good this semester. my GPA isn't quite where i wanted it but nothing i can do until next semester. i definitely made progress though.
it will be so hard to go home and get back in a routine. this trip has definitely thrown me off. i haven't had an alarm this whole week and its a little creepy but quite refreshing at the same time.

hopeful...

well i'm at the tail end of the cold. thats pretty exciting. i now have two finals to study for. my sociology final is comprehensive (with a four page study guide) and my history final is not. sadly they are both on the same day. that worries me a little bit. then i have a paper to revise and another to write for english. our final is actually going to be staging a courtroom and putting love on trial. its a class project. the professor has us all quite confused. we will see how that goes. then this semester will be over. i'm pretty excited but i have so many other plans that might interfere with me getting my work done.

today i work 12 to 4 and then we're having dinner with gus and laura which i'm super excited about. tomorrow i work and then have a sister to sister event. saturday i work and then jesse and i have planned a date night. sunday i have church and would normally go to my in-laws but we might stay home so i can study for the two finals i have on monday. then monday i have my sociology and history final. tuesday i will work and work on the papers and my testimony for english (i'm a witness for the defense). then wednesday i will turn in my papers, attend english, and then go to church. then next thursday i will work and i'm also trying to plan dinner with my dad, sister, brother-in-law, and in-laws. then next friday i will work and amazingly i don't think i have anything planned that evening. then next saturday we are having christmas with my in-laws. i'll need to figure out if i can work that day. then after all of the craziness i have just listed, jesse and i will be leaving to go to oklahoma for christmas.

wow i feel tired after typing all that out. oh well, as long as i put in my best effort i can be sure that God will carry me through. wish me luck on the upcoming craziness. oh and did i mention that i'm driving to oklahoma for the first time? yep, i've been a passenger on the trip dozens of times but i've never driven that ten or so hour trip. should be interesting.

it never fails...

this is the last week of classes. i had one paper due yesterday and have two due tomorrow and then i have finals next week. but of course my body thinks it would be a good time to catch a cold. at first i figured it was just an allergy flare up but since i've gone through a box and a half of kleenex in the past two days i think it might have turned in to more. i don't think i'm contagious. i haven't even come close to running a fever but i feel miserable. i took today off work in order to give myself a break. i felt it best to not go work in a restaurant when i have to blow my nose every five minutes or so. hopefully i will be feeling better tomorrow. i know that a trip to the store will be needed at some point this evening to buy more kleenex. wish me luck on this next couple of weeks. i definitely hope to be better before going to oklahoma for christmas. we'll be leaving on the 20th and coming home on the 30th. i'm really looking forward to it.