Sunday, April 13, 2014

I've decided to take on the Orange Rhino Challenge.

What's that you say?  Read about it here and here.  You can read about the inspiration for the name here.

It boils down to a challenge to stop yelling at your children.  Why would I want to go and do something like that?

I've found myself in a tricky spot.  I set out to be a "positive discipline" parent.  I desire to treat my children as the special, little human being they are while disciplining them in a respectful way.  God gave me these precious blessings for a reason.  I want to build them up and instill in them self confidence and the firm belief that they can master anything with God.  Screaming and yelling at them completely contradicts my goals and desires as a mother.  Yelling at them is disrespectful and honestly quite ineffective as a form of discipline.  I've been on the receiving end of a parent that yells.  I can assure you that if my daughters are anything like myself, they are not truly listening while I am exhausting myself yelling at them.  They are processing their hurt, wondering why a parent who loves them would talk to them this way, and preparing for some kind of retaliation.  I can pride myself for not saying hurtful things to them while I am yelling but the act of yelling itself is still hurtful.  I do NOT want that kind of relationship with my children, now or ever.

I believe that we must treat our children in a respectful way if we expect them to respect us.  I'm not saying children shouldn't be disciplined.  I'm not saying children should be allowed to run completely free without restraint or boundaries.  I'm simply striving to internalize and live the verses James 1:19-20, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."  If I'm yelling it is because I am angry.  If I'm yelling I am not listening to God or my children.  My children have their own perspectives that deserve to be heard.  If I'm yelling I am not taking to time to think through the words coming out of my mouth.  It's not easy to admit but it's the truth.

So today I am taking a step of faith to restore my outlook on parenting.  The woman behind the Orange Rhino Challenge chose a goal of 365 days of no yelling.  I have prayerfully decided on 30 days.  It is long enough to push myself and to make this a "habit".  Of course once the 30 days are over I plan to set a new goal but this is the beginning of something great in my life and in my family.  I will be keeping a personal journal during this journey and plan to do weekly check-ins here on the blog.  Prayers are much appreciated as I'm sure this journey will have it's trials.  It is called a "challenge" after all.

Day 1 of 30.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

It's Make or Break Time...

This blog has set very neglected for far too long.  It's time for that to change.  I know I've made similar statements in the past but the time is now.  I'm taking on so many changes in my life right now that I need to get back into the blogging groove.

It's been nearly three months since I updated all of you lovelies.  Here it goes...

Hubby finished his retraining for work and finally got back in his lovely blue uniform.  He also started full time and finished his first semester back in school.
Zoe had surgery to remove her dermoid cyst.  Just when we thought the journey was over she got a staph infection inside the incision and she was hospitalized for four days.  This caused me to spend my first night away from Emberlynn.  We rang in New Years in the hospital.

The new year stirred something in me.  I have decided that enough is enough.  It's time to stop just talking, dreaming and wishing for things to change and time to actually start doing something about it.  I decided 2014 will be a year of purpose and improvement.  I started with a challenge to read a chapter of Proverbs a day in January.  I was successful and have carried the challenge on to the rest of the year.  I already have the entire year of Bible reading planned out and am very excited.  I've also been reconnecting with God.  For some time I put a guard up that had no place in my life.  I was so scared of being vulnerable but the consequences are too much.  I've re-devoted my life and am striving to cut out all of the unneeded in my life and focus on him.  I also began The Respect Dare with my Wives of Faith group.  We are over halfway done and the impact is amazing.

Can't believe we are almost two months into the new year.  This has been a month of internal struggle.  Taking on The Respect Dare opened myself up to attacks from Satan.  As you can imagine, Satan does not want to see my relationship with God restored and my family united.  All I have to say is too bad.  While I am still very much a work in progress, I can feel the stirring of the Lord.  After we are done with The Respect Dare next month I plan to go straight into The Love Dare for Parents.  I've been blessed to be able to be a wife, a mother, and to stay at home with my children.  It's time I appreciate those blessings.

I haven't yet decided what kind of blogging schedule I want to follow.  I need to sit down and work some things out.  It feels good to feel like me again but a better me.

Friday, November 29, 2013

The Potty Training Update

I said I would give it three months and I kept my word.  It has been three whole months since she abruptly decided she only wanted to wear panties.

The first couple of weeks held many accidents and some unexplainable phobia of pooping in the potty.  It was crazy stressful because I wasn't prepared and had unrealistic expectations.

However once that first month was over things changed drastically.  Not only was she peeing AND pooping in the potty but she could do it pretty much all on her own.  We are still having the occasional accident but many mommy friends have reassured me that that is normal.  The most important thing is that we are handling things much calmer than we did in the beginning.

Overall the process was fairly straightforward and I'm relieved for the hard part to be over.  Surely it's all downhill from here.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

What have we been up to?

Well October was a whirlwind.

Miss Zoe turned one and became a toddler.  She is full blown walking now and is becoming quite the little ham.  She also knows how to throw quite a tantrum and demands personal space.  She still looks so much like her daddy, even more than big sister.

Miss Emberlynn turned three and became a preschooler.  She's growing up so fast and acts even older than she is.  She's all about princesses and dressing up.  Discipline and parenting are taking on a whole new definition.  The challenges are bigger but so are the rewards.

Hubby also had his birthday and turned twenty-six.  Just four years away from thirty.  But he's not one to get bent out of shape over a number and LOVES birthdays.

We're still adjusting to him being home and back in work and school.  We had hoped to be settled in by now but the government shut down affected us financially as well as interfering with his retraining at work.  Thankfully we serve a big God who has been with us through all of this.

 Speaking of hubby, we also celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary.  It's been a full five years with two deployments and two small children.  Right now we're working through this post deployment, reestablishing "normal" phase but I know we'll make it and be even stronger on the other side.  I'm so glad God brought us together.

We also had Halloween, a much beloved holiday in our family.  Emberlynn was old enough to remember and be excited.  Zoe was old enough to actually go.  Best of all daddy was home.

Hope you enjoyed the update and pictures.  I'll try to check in again soon.