Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Potty Training, Oh My!

Yes we are indeed potty training our oldest who will be three next month.  It's still rather new.  We've only been at it a few weeks now and it's a slow process.

I have heard so many opinions and read about all of these one-day and three-day potty training methods.  Honestly, all of that really screwed up my expectations and attitude toward the process which did a disservice to me and my child.

A couple of friends of mine kind of put me in my place (in a good way) which led me to searching out other resources.  In my search I found a book called The No Cry Potty Training Solution.  The same author writes books about infant and toddler sleep (which I own).  It was a relief to find a book by an author I am comfortable with who is gentle in her approach which is what I strive for.  However when we first started potty training I was anything but gentle.

All this talk about how fast potty training should be really skewed my outlook.  The consequence?  I did not handle the inevitable accidents in the right manner.  Where parents are encouraged to stay neutral and matter of fact, I responded in an emotional and angry way.  Not a pretty picture and only made the whole ordeal harder.

This week I decided to step back and change my approach.  I'm working more on how I handle myself than how she is doing with the process.  Accidents are natural and normal.  I have come to believe that potty training in one day or even three is not.  I'm sure it works for some but it's not for us.

My trusty book says that it can take anywhere from three to twelve months for a child to be completely daytime potty independent.  That seems much more believable and reasonable to me.  Instead of counting each accident as some sort of failure and putting so much pressure on having at least one accident free day (which we haven't had yet), I plan to step back and take each day as it comes.  I'm sure I will still be elated the first day she makes it all day without any kind of accident but I plan to wait out the minimum three months and then reevaluate.

In the mean time, if you feel the need to tell me how easy potty training is or was for you please refrain.  I'm not in the right head space for that.

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