"Mommy Porn"

Yes you read that right.  A babywearing group I am in recently had some turmoil regarding pictures of men babywearing being labeled as "mommy porn" or a turn on or other equally sexual labels.  The group was quite divided.  Some women saw no issue with the terminology.  They said that 'porn' is a widely used word that does not mean just pornographic pictures/videos.  Others took a stand that it was indeed wrong.  Such references and comments of a sexual nature have since been banned from use in the babywearing group but all week I've been thinking about it.

I see two major issues with labeling photos of men cleaning/cooking/babywearing (and any other activity that should just be mundane) as "mommy porn".

First it does in fact degrade men.  Women would never tolerate men talking about us that way.  Why should we expect our men to suck it up and take being treated as objects.  I would be furious if my husband were in a facebook group and posted a picture of me doing some sort of seemingly male activity (like taking out the trash or fixing or building something) and it was labeled as "daddy porn" and men ogled and commented vulgarly to the photo.  Although why do we never hear "daddy porn" in the same context that we hear "mommy porn"?  Because it's assumed daddies are looking at the real deal.  Regardless, I do not want a photo of my husband and/or children talked about in that manner.

Secondly, using the word porn in such a flippant way normalizes it.  It makes it seem like porn is in fact okay, healthy even.  Well I don't want my children growing up thinking that porn is normal.  I don't want my children using porn to judge their own sex lives or their worth.  I want them to value sex for what it is, a God given gift meant to bring a husband and wife together in a way unlike any other relationship.

I'm glad the issue was addressed within the group and is now not allowed.  I now won't be exposed to that kind of talk on a daily basis and I can enjoy all of the blessings of being a part of such a wonderful group of parents.