Monday, May 12, 2014

ORC Progress Report...Day 30, Now what?

Yes today is Day 30 of 30.  I missed the Day 24 progress report.  I'm sorry about that.  Time got away from me.

I can't believe it's been 30 days.  Things started so well and to be honest just after the half way point things fell apart.  I had some major meltdowns.  I'll be real, I had a couple of toddler worthy tantrums.  Life and stress got the best of me.  I got distracted and forgot to lean on God.  That right there has disaster written all over it.  I'm not pleased with how a good portion of those 30 days but I am pleased with the challenge as a whole.  I'll tell you why.

This challenge has reignited a passion within me.  Growing up with parents whose discipline techniques were quite different from each other, my goal before becoming a parent was to find the middle ground.  To discipline my children but to do so in a calm, respectful, non-punitive way.  Well then I had children and while I knew my goal was attainable and worthy of my best effort, I lost my way.  The tears are building as I write this.  It's hard to be this honest in such a public way.  Anyways, I gave in to peer pressure and expectations and forgot to trust in my instincts.  I wasn't focused on God and I'm still feeling the aftermath of that dark time.  Finally taking a stand and taking on this challenge reminded me of so many important things.  I serve a big God full of mercy, grace and forgiveness.  I am a good mother.  I have been blessed beyond measure.  And my joy does not come from my circumstances but from my heavenly Father.  Yes I made mistakes but I made the effort.  When I did yell I came back and apologized as soon as I was calm.  There were still many moments when I restrained from yelling and that's a big deal to me.

So 30 days came and went.  I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.  However, my journey is not done.  Tomorrow begins a new challenge and I'm so excited to see what God has in store for me this time.  I want to thank everyone for their love and support.  Please keep my family in your prayers.

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