Not a free for all.
Today some comments were made that make me very uncomfortable about my impending delivery. I'm currently 34wks pregnant and I guess it's time to sit some people down and tell them that my labor and delivery is not going to be some weird party just because I plan to stay home. The worst part is that the people making the comments aren't even people I want present for the labor and delivery. If I were going to the hospital I could just keep them out of the loop but one of them is my father and well we live with him. The other is my sister and my father won't hesitate to call my sister and invite her over.
I don't want to hurt any feelings. I understand that they are excited about the new baby and anxious about my plans to give birth at home. I realize that we live under my father's roof and that makes things complicated. However it is still MY body, MY baby and MY birth. I still feel like I should be in control of who is there and that my wishes should be respected. I just have to figure out how to sit down and express all of that to them. Then I need to pray that they choose to respect my wishes when the time comes.
Needless to say I'm nervous. It's the first time I've been anxious about my home birth. And honestly I'm not nervous about giving birth outside of the hospital, I'm nervous about giving birth in the particular house we live in under the current circumstances. Please send any thoughts and prayers you can spare my way as I try to prepare myself for the conversation(s) that needs to take place in the next couple of weeks. Pray that we can all stay civil and that they will choose to respect my wishes despite our past relationship issues. I really do love my family but things are a little rough right now. I do not need any extra stress.