Thursday, July 21, 2011

"You are Wrong."

[a response to a comment I recently received about my parenting choices]

No I am not wrong.  There is no 'wrong'.  Just personal opinion.  Your way is not the only 'right' way to do things despite what you might believe.  It is my right as her mother to do what I feel is best.  It is not my responsibility to make you happy.  It is my responsibility to care for my child.  I respect that you do not agree with the way I choose to do things, really I do, but you will not change my mind.
I am not saying that your way is 'wrong'.  I'm sure it worked well when you were raising me but it's my turn now.  I have to do what feels natural for me.  I have to follow my heart.  I refuse to compromise myself to make you happy.  Especially at what I feel would be at the expense of my daughter.
You can disagree with anything I choose to do but keep your negativity to myself.  You had your turn to parent a baby.  Now I am grown and have a baby of my own.  I know I will make mistakes but it is my turn to be a parent.  She is my child and my parenting choices are not up for debate.  If you want to express your objection, please do not do it with her around.  As her parent, I need her to respect me.  If you are constantly putting me down in front of her, it will have a negative impact on our bond.
I also want to ask you to refrain from calling her 'spoiled'.  We all know that it has a negative connotation and it is not something she needs to hear.  I do not believe you can spoil a child with love or attention.  She deserves to be nurtured.
I want her to have a better self esteem than I have and to accomplish that I feel I need to be proactive now.  She may not understand yet but she will soon.  I feel children need to be constantly lifted up.  She deserves our encouragement and support, not judgment.  No one is perfect but no one needs their imperfections pointed out to them.  I'd rather teach her to dwell on her strengths and not her weaknesses.
I know you love her and want the best for her.  I just need you to step back and respect my decisions regardless of whether you agree with them.

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