Treat me exactly as you would want me to treat you - exactly. Do not punish me ever. Teach me. Hold me. Love me. Trust that I, just like you, want to do what is right. Help me understand what I do not know. Do not call me names, label me, compare me, or make me compete for anything. Help me cooperate and collaborate. Be the example for me. - Bruce Scott
A page that I follow on Facebook posted this quote as their status and I must say I fell in love. I hope to use this quote as a mantra to follow as a mother. I must admit that pregnancy and motherhood has turned me into a research freak. There are so many 'methods' to everything baby related. It can be overwhelming on a good day. Everyone seems to have an opinion on how you should raise your children. I have gotten so much advice since first announcing my pregnancy. Now my precious girl is seven months old and the advice is still coming. I listen to all advice that I am given but I definitely do not agree with all of it.
The more I search within myself, the more I realize that I am definitely not a streamline parent. My husband lovingly tells me I'm not like most parents he knows. The things that feel right to me and right for our family, are different from how my husband and I were raised. Thankfully, my husband is supportive and thinks my reasons for doing things differently are valid. Most importantly, I'm not doing things different just to be different. I am simply following my 'mommy intuition'. Our biggest concern for the 'different' direction our family seems to be taking is how others will interact with our children. Our parents are very traditional in their parenting and discipline beliefs and we are realizing that our differences could cause some conflict. We know that we will leave our child(ren) in their care at some point. Our concern is how our parents will respond to our wishes and how our child(ren) will handle the likelihood of being disciplined in a very different manner when in the care of others. Of course I will do more research. Mostly to learn how to handle balancing our desires with our family's expectations.
Everyone tells you how challenging parenthood can be, no one tells you that half the challenge is defending your manner of parenting to multiple other parents. Especially your own parents when you choose to do things differently from how you were raised. The 'well it was good enough for you' outlook is hard to defend against. I think the most important thing to remember is that children are their own individuals. I found this quote on the Mamas and Babies Facebook page and I couldn't say it any better...
Children aren't miniature versions of us. They're little growing people with their own thoughts and feelings. They aren't 'ours' in the sense that we own them, but we are stewards responsible for their care and upbringing. That's a big job.
...Ah another wonderful mantra for motherhood. It truly is a big job to raise a child. Actually, I don't think 'big' even really covers it. God has entrusted me with the responsibility to go above and beyond myself for the sake of a precious little life he allowed to grow in my heart, my tummy, and now in my arms. There is no greater blessing than a child. I hope to do the best I can with the resources I have. Thankfully I have some amazing resources: my Savior, my wonderful husband, and a mommy intuition that will not fail me.