Wednesday, July 28, 2010

tired of the in-between...

At the age of twenty (almost twenty-one), I seem to be stuck in between childhood and adult hood.  All of my peers accept that I am now an adult.  The law considers me an adult.  However, my family still look at me as a child.  They still treat me as a child.  No one seems to understand that I have my own goals, dreams, and well life in general.  I have been married for almost two years and am about three months away from motherhood.  Things are tight right now and I have had to lean on my family for financial support but that doesn't make me any less of an adult.  Every one has rough times.  I am just tired of being walked on and forgotten.  Most of the conversations I have with my family end in a lecture and me defending myself.  I just don't feel like it should be this way anymore.  I am so afraid that they will continue to treat me this way in front of Emy.  However, they are in for a rude awakening because I will refuse to let them patronize me in front of my child.  It would be impossible for me to earn my daughter's respect while putting up with the treatment I am currently enduring.  I know I should start trying to change things now but I just don't know how.  In some ways, I hope Emy's arrival will help them realize that I am my own woman now.  I pray that I do not have to do anything drastic.  Actually, I am just praying for peace, strength, and guidance in general during this difficult time.  I know that God is more than enough for my situation.  Please Lord, help me to learn from my experiences and not treat my child in the same negative way I have been treated.  My daughter deserves better.  Thank you Lord for all you have given me.

1 comment:

Kathryn said...

"Thank you for sharing your story. I am a little under three months away from my due date and even though your recovery process has been rough, it is still good to hear."

No problem! You are getting so close, and I am so excited for you! :)

"I plan to try to avoid an epidural or other pain meds but not because of others opinions. Actually, most people look at me like I'm an idiot when I tell them I want to try to do it naturally. I have my own reasons for feeling the way I do and believe that it has to be every woman's personal decision. The epidural worked great for you and that is awesome. Every woman deserves a birth they feel comfortable with."

I think it's great if you want to do it naturally. It's your personal decision and no one else's!

I am sorry your family is treating you like that. I know what it feels like to be treated young, people still think I am ridiculous for getting married "so young". I hope it gets better for your sake and your little girl's!