people keep asking me what married life is like. the question catches me off guard every time. especially when the people asking are married. all i can seem to say is that the army has had him longer than i have...well its true, they have. we've been married for almost two months now and he's been home for about two weeks of it and thats collectively.
to me being married still seems very surreal. kind of like two kids playing dress up. we're going through the motions of being married but i don't feel a change in our relationship. at least not yet. i wonder when it will feel different. we have a joint bank account now, we've moved out, i'm his power of attourney while he's active duty, i have a military ID, my driver's license and social security card both say Danielle Ross...when will i feel the change?
jesse will be in iraq for our one year anniversary. i'll feel a change but it won't be marriage then. so much of the focus has been on making sure that jesse is ready for this deployment that i think i might have forgotten to stop and smell the roses so to speak. his needs were my first priority. i think i accidentally over looked mine. i needed time to let marriage sink in. we put a great deal of thought and prayer into the decision to get married but what about once the vows are said? yes we thought it was the right timing and that we have God's blessing but that doesn't mean things always go peachy. i mean in five days i say goodbye to my husband and won't see him for a year. life has ups and downs. so do relationships. i guess i'm just waiting for some spark or lightbulb to kick my mind into "married woman" gear.
and that what married life means to me right now. alot of unknowns, fears, hopes, and plans. now its time to buckly our seatbelts and let God take us for the ride.