Saturday, October 11, 2008

might finally get to go to florida...

just under sadder circumstances. jesse's dad said i would get to go to florida eventually. i wish it wasn't like this. i was asked by jesse if i was going to go to florida to see him off and of course i said yes. my mom may be in town but i'm sure she'll understand. i'm glad i will have the chance to see him off from florida to new jersey. seeing him off from new jersey is highly unlikely. knowing when he is scheduled to leave the country isn't safe. seeing him get on that plane will be bittersweet. it will be beneficial to have that closure. watching him board the plane or bus will force me to process and deal with the situation. but on the flip side, seeing him board the plane or bus will be hard to bear. as he says "this is the end of this life, the life of innocence and the last scraps of childhood." he will not come back the same. like it or not, he will change. heck, i'm sure i will change. he will more than likely be gone for all of 2009 plus some. on our joint blog he posted about his concerns for me. he worries what will happen to me if he does not return. i wish there is something i could say to put his mind at ease but there is nothing. i won't know what to do if he does not return. he says he feels that God has more plans for him stateside. i can only hope and pray that his intuition is right. we will have to wait and see. i just wish there was a way to let him know how pround i am of him...

1 comment:

Jesse said...

I always know how proud you are of me my love and carry it in my heart everywhere I go. If you go with my parents to see me off in Nashville you will get to see me board the bus, however my hope was that you come to the ceremony that the 351st is having for all of us on the 30th, sadly that means I'll be here by the 29th. I wont be leaving for dix until early dec. I love you so much and believe that we have nothing to worry about as long as we trust in God.