lost.

i wrote a blog in church on sunday but before i had a chance to post it, i had a revelation. in the post i talked about the sense of peace i had found. yesterday i realized that instead of peace...i may have developed a sense of apathy. after the events and words shared of last night and this morning...my sanity is in danger. i really don't want to go into any details, especially since i'm still on the verge of tears and i'm sitting in the school library, but i can say that jesse and i are fine. the only involvement jesse has in this ordeal is that he was present for some of the argueing. i do still plan to post what i wrote at church sunday but i will add a foot note to it because of recent events. i just want to say thank for every kind word any of you have ever said to me...i used to be suicidal but last night the temptation never crossed my mind...i know that most of you deserve some credit for helping find strength in myself and my God. so again, thank you. now i'm off to the greenway...i plan to stay out of the house for as long as possible today.