this date, three years ago, i began dating a boy.
i made him my everything.
i even put him before some of my best friends.
i hurt alot of people, including me, by being in that relationship.
but i loved him, and still do.
now that relationship is gone.
maybe for the best.
but gone.
i'm tired of asking him if he wants to be my friend again.
his lack of an answer speaks volumes to me.
but any sympathy i had for him has also vanished.
that makes me sound cold, but things he did and said to me, made me that way.
he may be sorry, only him and God knows.
i don't expect an apology.
we both changed.
no one can say what went wrong.
it just wasn't in God's plan.
so now, three years later, i sit here typing this.
my eyes are tearing up, not from regret, guilt, or even loss.
i'm just sorry it took me so long to realize he was just leading me on.
every "i don't know" . . . "i need to think about it" . . . "can i get back to you" . . .
if he was truly interested, he would have answered.
maybe silence was his intended answer all along.
silly me.
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