Tuesday, May 4, 2010

MilSpouses Rock! Blog Carnival Day 4: Ten Tough Things About Being a Military Wife

1. That moment in the airport when you watch your soldier walk away and then you have to walk out of the airport by yourself.
- I always try to hold back my tears until my husband is out of site. My husband knows I'm upset but he doesn't need to see my fall apart.

2. Fearing that our children will hold their father's military career against him.
- This is not something we can handle just yet since I am just now pregnant with our first child. I'm sure it will be an ongoing process as our children grow to help then understand why soldiers do what they do and that it doesn't mean that they love their family any less.

3. Being a reserve wife, the changing income and insurance coverage is tough sometimes.
- We stay faithful to God and tithe. Tithing is the one thing that God gives us permission to test him in and He is definitely proven himself in our lives.

4. Sitting alone in church.
- This one really doesn't have a solution. Its hard to not have your husband their beside you.

5. Some days, all of the questions.
- Friends and family constantly ask questions to find out what is going on. Most days it is not a bad thing and you feel blessed to have people who care. But on "bad days" it can be hard to talk about how far away your soldier is or when the last time you saw him was.

6. Possible change.
- Anytime a couple is separated for an extended period of time, each person will change. Depending on the length of separation, it could be mild change or drastic change and once you come back together you must learn what has changed about each other and how to deal with it.

7. Scheduling or sometimes lack there of.
- The military is all about schedules but when it comes down to it, the schedule usually changes at least once if not many times. There are parts of the schedule that others are not allowed to know and nothing is ever set. Sadly, you just have to learn to be patient and flexible.

8. The acronyms.
- Learning and more importantly REMEMBERING all of the new terms and acronyms that the military uses.

9. Deployment.
- The obvious answer even to civilian families. The fears, separation, limited communication and OPSEC all work together to make the year a tough one. Usually the Army does twelve month deployments but hubby being reserve there is extra training prior to the actual start of the deployment which makes it longer. You just have to take every new day as it comes and trust God.

10. Last but not least, Marriage.
- This one often gets overlooked. Every marriage requires work but the military often complicates an already delicate situation. Dealing with all of the above and being adaptable requires extra work on the part of the soldier and the spouse at home. Neither party should be solely responsible. A healthy marriage requires both parties to invest themselves.

Click here to visit the blog hosting the blog carnival.


mom2ahrj said...

aw! i laughed WITH YOU about the first one! oh, how i hate that long lonely walk out of the airport! like you, i try to hold back the tears until hubby is out of sight but then it all gushes out and i walk out of the airport sobbing...and being stared at either sympathetically or like, "what is your problem, lady?" lol!

Pattie said...

Fab list, Danie!

Becky said...

Stopped over here from Wives of Faith's blog carnival...good list. I didn't think of sitting alone at church, but that's a really good one. There have been so many times when I've witnesses such displays of affection between couples and it just makes me miss my husband so much more. Our pastor also prays for all of our military members each Sunday by name, and it always catches me off guard when I hear my husbands name.

You can check my list/blog out at http://pullinguptheweeds.blogspot.com

I look forward to reading more about you!

Jessica said...

Great list Danie!
I feel ya on the airport and sitting alone in church.

thanks for sharing!

Sara said...

Hey Danie,

Congrats - your comment was picked tonight as the winner of our drawing! Email me your address and we'll get your prize out to you! :)

Sara (sara @ wivesoffaith.org)

Kathryn said...

Great list, loved what you said on 10# so true.

Ebony S said...

Dealing with the (lack of) consistent scheduling gets my goat for sure! Love your list, esp # 10