Monday, April 20, 2009

too involved...

uhg. i am pretty darn sure that my boss is too involved in my life and it really upsets me. when i entered the workforce i never expected an employer be so nosy. i understand if the personal situation would interfere with my ability to work but so far that has not been the case.
first she tried to talk me out of getting married. i guess she finally realized that my mind was made up and there was nothing she could say to change my mind, she moved on to tell me that i was starting my marriage off on the wrong foot by not taking a honeymoon. she tried to convince me that i was setting myself (and my marriage) up for failure because i "cared too much about pleasing my in-laws." jesse was home for a whopping three days the weekend we got married. logistically and financially a honeymoon would not have worked. not to mention he was about to mobilize to deploy to iraq so i felt it would be selfish to keep him away from friends and family. she critisizes every decision i make.
now that we (jesse and i) are considering buying a car when he comes home for R&R that is her new fixation. she seems to think it is her responsibility to "help me" decide what to do. her great plan is for me to "take back" jesse's car from his parents to drive until he comes home. then we'll have his car and i won't need a car cause the first two years of her marriage they only had one car. there are a couple of problems with her great plan. "jesse's car" is in his mom's name so its technically not his and we have no idea if when he comes home they'll let him put it in his name. it just hasn't been talked about and its not my place to barge in and take back a car that isn't legally his. she believes that i'm letting my in-laws work me over. i think she's ridiculous. another problem with her little plan is the fact that she thinks i can take a bus to and from nashville everyday (when hopefully i start at vanderbuilt) to compensate for having one car and going to two different colleges. i know that we're young and we're just getting our first taste of the "real world" but to me that doesn't seem like the best solution.
finally, just because something worked for her marriage does not at all mean it will work for mine. every relationship has its own little quirks and every person has their own ideal of how they want their life and their marriage to be. not only was she at a different stage in her life when she married but the dynamic of her marriage is so very different than the union i have entered into with jesse. the biggest difference is obviously the fact that i married a soldier but there are lots of little differences. she seems to think that if everyone could live up to her ideal than the world would be a better place. she hates knowing that some of her employees engage in premarital activities. but it also bothered her when she thought i wasn't thinking seriously enough about getting married. she had all four of her children natural and think every other woman should do the same but when i mentioned that i hope for all natural deliveries of my future children she looked at me like i was insane and laughed at me. i would absolutely love to not care what this woman thinks of my life but it bothers me that i can't figure out how she thinks i should live. when dad would critisize me i usually knew where i had "fallen short" but with my boss i have absolutely no idea what would make her happy. right now my goal is to try not to take her critisism to heart. i have live my life for me, jesse, and one else. when i have children then they will also greatly influence my life. i just don't feel that my boss should be so involved.
my goodness she frustrates me. but two more days and then two weeks off...i'm pretty excited. please keep me and my work issues in your prayers. i'm really struggling right now. i absolutely dread work...

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