weird mood.

i'm in a weird mood right now.
i'm relieved but a little disappointed. there was a possiblity that has been taken away. its for the best i'm sure but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
i'm sleepy but awake. i can barely keep my eyes open staring at this stupid anatomy book but i know that if i were to try to take a nap i wouldn't sleep. i'd bounce right back up. but a nap isn't even an option. i'm sitting at a table in the library.
i'm focused but not on what i should be. i have an anatomy lab practical at 6pm today but i have dozens of thoughts racing through my mind that have absolutely nothing to do with anatomy. its awful. i probably won't do very good on this test if i can't buckle my mind down.
i think i cried myself to sleep every night last week. the problems just keep piling up and everytime i try to take them to God i break down. i'm hoping this week will be a better week. if i can survive this week then i get a small break next week thanks to spring break. the only problem with that is i will still have work and assignments and obligations...just no coming to campus. but thats my life for now and that is how my day is going. although husband would be very proud of something i did today. i wish i could tell him.