failure.

i look around and feel like a failure.

the apartment is a disaster.
that makes me feel like a failure as a wife.
i should have had everything unpacked and set up before jesse came home for christmas exodus.
the office is still in a pile of boxes.
the closet is full of boxes of clothes.
i've barely done anything.

i'm so behind in school.
its not even half way through the semester yet.
i can't fail.
i can't wait til this phase of my life is over.
i simply see college as a stepping stone.
something i have to get through to get where i want to be.

the only thing that has improved is my relationship with God.
God has given me such a sense of peace about this deployment.
it amazes me.
God is amazing!
too bad i've let the stress of deployment kill every other kind of motivation...