Tuesday, January 13, 2009

words and intentions.

sometimes when i pray i get too caught up in what i'm trying to say. i stumble my words and then worry that i prayed wrong. but honestly, i don't think you can pray wrong. i also don't think God cares about what i'm trying to say. i believe he looks past my words, into my heart. he looks at my intentions and my hopes and dreams that i'll never know how to verbalize. if i even know they exist at all. thats why i struggle with how to pray for jesse. i forget that God will look past what i am saying or how i'm saying it. i try so hard to pray for God's will, not necassarily that jesse will come home safe. don't get me wrong...i want jesse home safely but i want to trust God. i want him to hear me say that whatever he has planned for this deployment, i know he will give me the peace, strength, and understanding to handle it.

but are our hearts always in the right place when we pray? we have the comfort of knowing that as long as our intentions for praying are right then God will look past our mixed up words. but what if we get the words right but our heart isn't in it? there's no back up plan.

sorry. i've had that on my mind alot here lately. i've been doing alot of praying because of everything thats been going on but it bugs me because i know i should be praying even more than i have been every day. its really made me reevaluate my relationship with God. it needs work.

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