today jesse called me with an update. the doctor cleared him! the anti-inflammatory drugs seemed to do their job. right now he is busy running around getting everything thing together and they're even working on getting him his final orders. right now there is a really good chance that he'll get to catch up with his unit in country. but i have to admit, the excitement i felt was unexpected. to hear my husband overjoyed about leaving the country to go fight the war on terrorism caused me to feel quite torn. i am thrilled that he is better. i'm estatic that he is happy. but he's still leaving. i actually shed tears of joy to hear him say he was cleared. i definitely didn't expect that.
its weird how you can cope when faced with difficult trials. it devestated me when jesse told me he would be deploying. now a mere nine months later, i'm excited that he is "getting to leave." jesse and i talked about it and i decided that due to me being such a structured person, i'm really just excited about everything going according to plan. i like plans and schedules. thats rough when dealing with the military because everything is always subject to change. i could deal with the deployment because there was a timeline. but when he got injured, all the facts i had gotten used to were in jeopardy. now everything is back to "normal." even though he's leaving...i'm excited. it feels so odd.
i guess i was meant to be a military wife.