I Surrender All

It's a new year.  Instead of resolutions I threw myself into working on multiple areas of my life.  Last year I tried to work on the same areas but tried to take baby steps in hopes of being successful.  This year it's all or nothing.  Things cannot continue the way they are.

For a little while now I've been struggling with anger issues.  I go from okay to raging like a flipped switch.  I say and do things I wholeheartedly regret.  I hurt those closest to me.  I've turned into the parent I never wanted to be.

Well this year I'm putting all that to an end.

I'm taking another step in my walk with God.  Last year I set a goal to read a chapter of my Bible every day.  I am happy to report I can count on one hand the number of days I missed or forgot.  This year I am continuing to read a chapter a day but I am also adding a chapter of Proverbs and Psalm a day as well as writing at least one verse from each chapter in a journal.  I'm so excited for the growth I know is to come.

I'm also working on truly surrendering every aspect of my life to God.  I've prayed things in the last few weeks that I never thought I would.  But I'm also feeling and sensing God in ways I never have before.  This life is not my own.  My children are not my own.  God is the Lord and creator of all and it is time to truly live that out in my day to day.  I am a masterpiece created by the most high God.  I have to stop taking his promises for granted.  I have to stop relying on my strength.  It will never be enough.  I am only as strong as my relationship to God.

In years past I've made a goal to read a book a month.  I have yet to succeed but I'm giving it another go.  Due to the anger issues I mentioned above and the desperation to change myself as a parent, the book I chose to read in January is Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids.  So far I love it.  Instead of focusing on the child(ren), it focuses on what you should be doing as a parent and how to work on yourself.  It's exactly what I need.  I'm only in the first chapter and I already, with God's guidance and conviction, feel so empowered.

I got to chat with Emberlynn today and have given her permission to call me out if I start to yell or get physical with her.  I'm using the Orange Rhino Challenge as inspiration and that will be our safe word.  When I start to loose it, she is allowed to say Orange Rhino to me.  I can already tell there will be some adjusting.  We talked about how I'm no longer allowed to yell at her, smack her hand or spank her.  Those moments are times she needs to remind me Orange Rhino.  She's pushing to have time out prohibited as well.  For now it stays.  I will also be making a sticker chart.  Instead of it being a behavior chart for the kids, it will be a behavior chart for me.  If I do well at controlling my emotions for that day then I get a sticker.  The twist?  Emberlynn (and Zoe as she gets older) gets to decide if I've earned a sticker for that day.  I realize I must sound crazy.  Why would I give my child that kind of control over me?  It is an idea the book presents and for me it was instant love.  I do not believe my role as a parent is a dictatorship.  My children are not mine to control.  They were given to me as a gift.  I am responsible for being a vessel of God's love to them.  God does not beat us into submission.  He allows us to explore the full realm of our free will.  I am responsible for keeping my children safe, to ensure they feel loved and respected, and to let God guide their steps.  He created their individual purpose long before they began to grow inside me.  I do not want to get in His way.  As far as giving my children control, I don't believe I am.  Who is a better judge of if I am being a respectful parent than my children?  I'm simply giving them the say in their own lives that they need.  If they can't communicate to me when I am hurting them, emotionally or physically, how will they learn to communicate that to future friends or boyfriends?  I want them to feel secure in themselves enough to stick up for themselves when they are being mistreated, even by me.

I am so thankful that God's mercies are new every morning.  Today I am surrendering all.  Tomorrow I move forward in my journey.  I will make mistakes.  There will be days that Emberlynn doesn't feel like I've earned a sticker.  Those days will be teaching moments for our family.  We will learn from them and move on.  We will trust that God is in control.

ORC Progress Report

Yikes I can't believe another 30 days slipped by me.  I'm actually two days past the sixty day mark.  I have not begun a third Orange Rhino Challenge.

How am I doing?

Well things are stressful for us right now.  Stress can make you do crazy things.  Overall I feel like I'm still doing okay though.  There is still work to be done but I can feel a change in myself.  Even when I do yell (just being honest, it still happens) I don't feel as out of control.  We're still working on getting back on track with discipline.  I'm trying to finish the current book I'm reading before we set up any new plans.  I know we will be implementing family meetings.  Punitive time out will become positive time out.  And I'm sure as I continue to read my book I will realize other changes that need to be made.  I still believe in positive discipline and feel it is the best path for our family.  I just want to have a better grasp on things before we start making changes.  For now I will continue to work on not yelling at my children and making small changes in how I talk to them and what words I choose when correcting them or teaching them.  Parenting is a fun ride isn't it?

ORC Progress Report

My goal for this 60 day challenge was to post every ten days but obviously that has not been the case. Today is actually day 30.  Half way.  Doesn't even remotely seem possible.  Time has been flying by it seems.  I can feel myself finding a new rhythm that doesn't involve yelling.  I still raise my voice at times but I didn't expect for that to end.  My goal was for the crazy, angry, temper-tantrum (yes I'm talking about me and not the children) like yelling to end and so far I'm feeling pretty good with things.

Right now our family feels a bit in limbo.  We've gotten off track as far as discipline goes.  Right now we're trying to find our path again.  It's a little overwhelming to change something as drastic as the way you discipline your children but we know that our family will be better for it in the long run.  We have to stop focusing on the frustrations of now and look ahead to the young ladies we see our daughters becoming.  It's exciting and terrifying.  The joys of parenthood, right?!

Hopefully I will be more faithful in the second 30 days than I was in the first 30 days.

A new ORC Challenge

That's right folks.  Yesterday was the end of my 30 day Orange Rhino Challenge and so today was the beginning of my 60 day Orange Rhino Challenge.  Today was stressful I overall I think I did well.  Hubby is out of town for a bit so we'll see how this all plays out.  I can tell such a difference in my girls, especially my three year old, when I stay calm.  I know with God I can make this change.  Thank you all for your prayer, love, support and encouragement.

ORC Progress Report...Day 30, Now what?

Yes today is Day 30 of 30.  I missed the Day 24 progress report.  I'm sorry about that.  Time got away from me.

I can't believe it's been 30 days.  Things started so well and to be honest just after the half way point things fell apart.  I had some major meltdowns.  I'll be real, I had a couple of toddler worthy tantrums.  Life and stress got the best of me.  I got distracted and forgot to lean on God.  That right there has disaster written all over it.  I'm not pleased with how a good portion of those 30 days but I am pleased with the challenge as a whole.  I'll tell you why.

This challenge has reignited a passion within me.  Growing up with parents whose discipline techniques were quite different from each other, my goal before becoming a parent was to find the middle ground.  To discipline my children but to do so in a calm, respectful, non-punitive way.  Well then I had children and while I knew my goal was attainable and worthy of my best effort, I lost my way.  The tears are building as I write this.  It's hard to be this honest in such a public way.  Anyways, I gave in to peer pressure and expectations and forgot to trust in my instincts.  I wasn't focused on God and I'm still feeling the aftermath of that dark time.  Finally taking a stand and taking on this challenge reminded me of so many important things.  I serve a big God full of mercy, grace and forgiveness.  I am a good mother.  I have been blessed beyond measure.  And my joy does not come from my circumstances but from my heavenly Father.  Yes I made mistakes but I made the effort.  When I did yell I came back and apologized as soon as I was calm.  There were still many moments when I restrained from yelling and that's a big deal to me.

So 30 days came and went.  I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.  However, my journey is not done.  Tomorrow begins a new challenge and I'm so excited to see what God has in store for me this time.  I want to thank everyone for their love and support.  Please keep my family in your prayers.

ORC Progress Report

I am over halfway now.  I can't believe it is May already.  April flew by it seems.  I'm still having more outbursts than I would like but it's called a challenge for a reason right?!  This post was supposed to be written yesterday but the day got away from me.

I don't have anything inspirational to share.  It's been kind of a chaotic week and May is quickly turning into a very busy month.  Almost every weekend is booked with multiple events.  Hubby will have to go to DC to training at some point this month.  I'll be on my own with the girls for ten days which I'm sure will be quite a test.

All in all, I'm hanging in there.  Walking this journey is opening my eyes to other areas of my life that need work.  God is really stirring something inside of me I just don't know what yet.  I'm excited to see what he has in store but trying to hold steady in the now.  I want to thank all of you for the support and encouragement I have received.  I was afraid to share this journey with anyone because I feared criticism and ridicule.  I thank God that I have not encountered any negativity regarding this challenge.  His hand is most definitely on me.  Here's to finishing strong and then moving into a new sixty day challenge.

Day 19 of 30

ORC Progress Report

I wish I could say these last six days were as great as the first.  They definitely have not been.  It's been a struggle.  I've had moments of anger that got the best of me.  I've tried to apologize and move on knowing that any progress is a success.  However, yesterday God spoke to me.

The military wives Bible study I am part of is currently working through Your Beautiful Purpose by Susie Larson.  As I read Chapter 3 and worked through the study questions I was instructed to write all of my cares on a piece of paper, prayerfully turn them over to the Lord and then burn the paper.  Let's just say it was a long list.  I was writing out all of my frustrations and struggles as a parent and as I wrote "not being listened to" I felt a quickening in my heart.  I could hear God say "And how is that different from what you do?"

It's so true.  I am a child of God.  He is my heavenly father.  He is constantly speaking to me, instructing me, guiding me and lovingly disciplining me.  There are times I don't listen.  I don't follow His instruction.  I do what I want to do.  It doesn't matter why, the point is that I do.  Just like my own children are driven by their instinct to explore and test boundaries.  The difference is when I act out or go my own way, God doesn't lash out at me.  He patiently and lovingly corrects me and guides me or waits with open arms until I am ready to get back on track.

I need to parent more like God parents me.  I don't know why this had never crossed my mind before.  But today is a new day, a day the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it.  I will keep my focus on God.  My children need to be able to feel God through my words and actions.

And then this morning I couldn't fall back to sleep after nursing the baby so at 5:30am I decided to get up and do my Holy Yoga.  Oh what a wonderful decision that was.  The meditation I felt led to choose today was titled Perfection.  The verse used was Hebrews 10:17 from The Message version.  It says: It was a perfect sacrifice by a perfect person to perfect some very imperfect people.  The point of the teaching was that instead of striving for perfection, we should strive for connection to the One who is perfect.  Our Savior.  He doesn't want us to be perfect for the sake of our own fulfillment.  He wants us to be in an intimate relationship with Him so that His perfection can pour down on us and through us into others.  He wants to see us live and walk His will and plan for our lives.

I know today that mistakes will happen.  My beautiful young daughters will test me.  They will do things, or not do things, and I will be tempted to get angry or yell.  I need to take each mistake as an opportunity to learn.  For all of us to learn.  I need to be slow to anger and be mindful of the words coming out of my mouth and be sensitive to the moments when I should just be quiet.

Here's to taking the rest of this journey one moment at a time.  Almost halfway and this journey has already been one of the most rewarding of my life.  It was God's timing and calling to walk this journey.  There is no reason to walk it by myself.

Day 12 of 30

ORC Progress Report

As I'm typing this I am sitting in the wee hours of day 6 of the Orange Rhino Challenge.  Both of my precious girls are still sleeping.  Our day has yet to begin.  Although the toddler was up multiple times last night so I'm not sure yesterday ever ended.

Overall this challenge has not been as difficult as I expected.  I give all thanks to God.  I have felt his hand on me through these last six days in a way I've never felt before.  Anytime something happens that would normally send me straight into yelling I hear him whisper in my spirit, "Take a breath.  You can do it."  I pray thanks to Him daily for the peace and self control He has blessed me with during this challenge.

Now that doesn't mean I haven't messed up.  God may be doing wonderful things through me but alas I am still human.  Yesterday was a recipe for disaster.  Overall we had an amazing day as a family but we went shopping for me an Easter outfit.  Honestly, shopping for myself goes so much better without the little ones in tow.  It's probably why it doesn't happen often.  Anyways, I was in the dressing rules and the girls were running around all the other dressing rooms and periodically busting in on me (yay for a door with a broken lock).  I stayed much calmer than I normally would but after them slamming doors over and over again after being politely asked not to, I snapped a little.  I didn't go all out and yell but my voice was a little louder and more agitated than my normal "firm" voice.  At first I was a little disappointed in myself but then I looked at the big picture.  I still didn't go into my crazy yell mode.  The rest of the day was a very nice day despite neither girl getting a good nap.

One little slip in the first six days?  I'll take it and learn from it.  I am still so very thankful to feel God's hand upon me as I make this change.

I've decided to take on the Orange Rhino Challenge.

What's that you say?  Read about it here and here.  You can read about the inspiration for the name here.

It boils down to a challenge to stop yelling at your children.  Why would I want to go and do something like that?

I've found myself in a tricky spot.  I set out to be a "positive discipline" parent.  I desire to treat my children as the special, little human being they are while disciplining them in a respectful way.  God gave me these precious blessings for a reason.  I want to build them up and instill in them self confidence and the firm belief that they can master anything with God.  Screaming and yelling at them completely contradicts my goals and desires as a mother.  Yelling at them is disrespectful and honestly quite ineffective as a form of discipline.  I've been on the receiving end of a parent that yells.  I can assure you that if my daughters are anything like myself, they are not truly listening while I am exhausting myself yelling at them.  They are processing their hurt, wondering why a parent who loves them would talk to them this way, and preparing for some kind of retaliation.  I can pride myself for not saying hurtful things to them while I am yelling but the act of yelling itself is still hurtful.  I do NOT want that kind of relationship with my children, now or ever.

I believe that we must treat our children in a respectful way if we expect them to respect us.  I'm not saying children shouldn't be disciplined.  I'm not saying children should be allowed to run completely free without restraint or boundaries.  I'm simply striving to internalize and live the verses James 1:19-20, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."  If I'm yelling it is because I am angry.  If I'm yelling I am not listening to God or my children.  My children have their own perspectives that deserve to be heard.  If I'm yelling I am not taking to time to think through the words coming out of my mouth.  It's not easy to admit but it's the truth.

So today I am taking a step of faith to restore my outlook on parenting.  The woman behind the Orange Rhino Challenge chose a goal of 365 days of no yelling.  I have prayerfully decided on 30 days.  It is long enough to push myself and to make this a "habit".  Of course once the 30 days are over I plan to set a new goal but this is the beginning of something great in my life and in my family.  I will be keeping a personal journal during this journey and plan to do weekly check-ins here on the blog.  Prayers are much appreciated as I'm sure this journey will have it's trials.  It is called a "challenge" after all.

Day 1 of 30.

The Potty Training Update

I said I would give it three months and I kept my word.  It has been three whole months since she abruptly decided she only wanted to wear panties.

The first couple of weeks held many accidents and some unexplainable phobia of pooping in the potty.  It was crazy stressful because I wasn't prepared and had unrealistic expectations.

However once that first month was over things changed drastically.  Not only was she peeing AND pooping in the potty but she could do it pretty much all on her own.  We are still having the occasional accident but many mommy friends have reassured me that that is normal.  The most important thing is that we are handling things much calmer than we did in the beginning.

Overall the process was fairly straightforward and I'm relieved for the hard part to be over.  Surely it's all downhill from here.

What have we been up to?

Well October was a whirlwind.

Miss Zoe turned one and became a toddler.  She is full blown walking now and is becoming quite the little ham.  She also knows how to throw quite a tantrum and demands personal space.  She still looks so much like her daddy, even more than big sister.

Miss Emberlynn turned three and became a preschooler.  She's growing up so fast and acts even older than she is.  She's all about princesses and dressing up.  Discipline and parenting are taking on a whole new definition.  The challenges are bigger but so are the rewards.

Hubby also had his birthday and turned twenty-six.  Just four years away from thirty.  But he's not one to get bent out of shape over a number and LOVES birthdays.

We're still adjusting to him being home and back in work and school.  We had hoped to be settled in by now but the government shut down affected us financially as well as interfering with his retraining at work.  Thankfully we serve a big God who has been with us through all of this.

 Speaking of hubby, we also celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary.  It's been a full five years with two deployments and two small children.  Right now we're working through this post deployment, reestablishing "normal" phase but I know we'll make it and be even stronger on the other side.  I'm so glad God brought us together.

We also had Halloween, a much beloved holiday in our family.  Emberlynn was old enough to remember and be excited.  Zoe was old enough to actually go.  Best of all daddy was home.

Hope you enjoyed the update and pictures.  I'll try to check in again soon.

Potty Training, Oh My!

Yes we are indeed potty training our oldest who will be three next month.  It's still rather new.  We've only been at it a few weeks now and it's a slow process.

I have heard so many opinions and read about all of these one-day and three-day potty training methods.  Honestly, all of that really screwed up my expectations and attitude toward the process which did a disservice to me and my child.

A couple of friends of mine kind of put me in my place (in a good way) which led me to searching out other resources.  In my search I found a book called The No Cry Potty Training Solution.  The same author writes books about infant and toddler sleep (which I own).  It was a relief to find a book by an author I am comfortable with who is gentle in her approach which is what I strive for.  However when we first started potty training I was anything but gentle.

All this talk about how fast potty training should be really skewed my outlook.  The consequence?  I did not handle the inevitable accidents in the right manner.  Where parents are encouraged to stay neutral and matter of fact, I responded in an emotional and angry way.  Not a pretty picture and only made the whole ordeal harder.

This week I decided to step back and change my approach.  I'm working more on how I handle myself than how she is doing with the process.  Accidents are natural and normal.  I have come to believe that potty training in one day or even three is not.  I'm sure it works for some but it's not for us.

My trusty book says that it can take anywhere from three to twelve months for a child to be completely daytime potty independent.  That seems much more believable and reasonable to me.  Instead of counting each accident as some sort of failure and putting so much pressure on having at least one accident free day (which we haven't had yet), I plan to step back and take each day as it comes.  I'm sure I will still be elated the first day she makes it all day without any kind of accident but I plan to wait out the minimum three months and then reevaluate.

In the mean time, if you feel the need to tell me how easy potty training is or was for you please refrain.  I'm not in the right head space for that.

Nine Months! Gasp!

My sweet little Zoe is nine months old today.  It's so hard to believe I'm only three months away from having a toddler and a preschooler.  Where did the time go??  I'm sure we're only a matter of weeks away from her walking.  I know it's cliche but they really do grow up so fast.

And the best part is hubby is home!  We're no longer stuck in an unknown countdown and the deployment is over.  Zoe got to meet her daddy for the first time and took to him pretty well.  Emberlynn is thrilled to have him home but of course her little two year old self is testing boundaries.

I will try to get back into posting now that I've got my partner back.  Of course right now we're all still adjusting and trying to get settled into our "new normal" that will hopefully last awhile.

Eight Months Already.

My sweet miss Zoe is eight months old today.  She's a feisty little girl.  She loves to crawl (in her own special way, two hands and only one knee) and pull up on furniture.  I have a feeling I'll have another early walker.  I'm hoping she'll hold off so her daddy can see her walk for the first time.  He has missed so many of her firsts and big moments in her short life that I'd really like for him to witness her taking her first steps.

Speaking of daddy, we are getting very close to the end of this deployment.  We should be within sixty days of homecoming.  Even though we have our reserves about reintegration, we are so ready to be together again!  We're in that awkward window of knowing it's close but not know when.  At this point we will not get any further information until he is back stateside.  I'm pretty sure the anticipation of homecoming is harder than the anticipation of the goodbye.  Just sayin.  Upon his return I will attempt to get back into a better blogging routine but no promises.  I'm sure there is some serious adjustment ahead.

Seven Months.

Yes, my sweet Zoe is seven months old today.  She is a joy.  She's feisty like big sister but in her own way.  She loves food!  And is still trying to figure out crawling.  However, she still figures out how to get where she wants to go.  Things are running much smoother, most of the time.  Some days naps work out just right and some days they are a mess.  Such is life.

We are nearing the end of this deployment.  They've been given a date but told not to share it with anyone outside of their location.  So it seems there won't be much of a count down until he's back stateside.

We are also moving a week from today.  Finally we're getting back into our own space.  I will be forever grateful for what my father has done for my family but I am ready to be out on our own again.

I wish I had more to say but the baby is getting fussy and it's almost time to feed her and put her down for her first nap.  Much love to all.

Coming clean.

For weeks now I've had all these blog ideas bouncing around in my mind. I've even sat down to type them out before and the baby always seems to wake up the moment I get comfy. I want to post about the girls and all their new milestones and funny stories. I want to be open and honest about how I'm handling this deployment. I've thought of a couple of topics I'm passionate about and would like to get off my chest. And eventually I'm sure I'll get to write all those posts but right now there is something I just need to put out there. I pride myself in being transparent with the wonderful people who read my blog. What I'm about to say I've told very few people.

I think I am struggling with postpartum depression.

Whew I said it. Now don't get my wrong. I have no thoughts of harming myself, my children or anyone else. I really don't even feel 'depressed' per say. I just often spiral into overwhelming, irrational anger. I have outbursts, particularly with my toddler, that are uncalled for and out of line. I've been praying and trying to work on myself but it will be a long road to break what has now become a bad habit. I know this is not the mother I want to be or am called to be. I also know God is bigger than any imbalance in my brain. At this time I am not seeking counseling or medication. I don't feel I am to that point although I don't think counseling would hurt. I will try to update y'all periodically. Wish me luck.

One Month Down...

My sweet precious Zoe was one month old yesterday.  It seems surreal to think she's already been a part of our family for a whole month.  She's already outgrowing her newborn size clothes and the newborn size diapers.  That's at least two weeks earlier than her big sister.  All around she is a very different baby than Emberlynn was but I already knew that from pregnancy.  It is amazing how even before they are born you can tell certain things about them.  It also amazes me that even at this young age I can tell my girls have very different personalities.  It's my job to love them for their differences and teach them to love themselves.

That also means I've been a mother of two for a month now.  I wanted to take the time to jot down a few things I've learned as a not first time mother.
- I didn't appreciate the time I had with just Emberlynn enough.  The transition to motherhood can be a rough one and it's so easy to feel completely overwhelmed.  Then you add another child and think "Why did I think it was so hard to just have one?".  I do not say this to take away from the mothers who only have one child, motherhood is challenging regardless of how many children you have.  I've just learned that for myself, I should have spent more time appreciating just having one and not dwelling on the challenges.  Now I get to try to apply this lesson to having two children.
- I'm stronger than I thought I was.  Giving birth and balancing both little ones while the husband is deployed is hard are we're still adjusting but overall it's going better than I thought.  Of course I'm sure God is the only reason I'm surviving.
- As chaotic as things are with two small children, I love how much more comfortable I am this time.  Since I've already had a newborn it's easier to stay calm and realize when everything is okay and when I should worry.
- I need and love my husband more than I ever thought.  It seems so surreal that we have now been blessed with two beautiful daughters.  Doing this without him has made me appreciate him more than I ever thought possible.  I really do believe this deployment is a turning point for our relationship.  Things were kind of rough before he left but as long as we use this deployment to learn from the challenges and move forward, I feel like things can be so much better when he comes home.

Speaking of my last point, little Zoe being a month old means we're one month closer to Jesse coming home.  We're not entirely sure when he'll be home but at least we're getting closer.

The importance of a mother's intuition.

Let's start at the beginning shall we...
On Easter, Emberlynn woke up with a slight runny nose but it was clear so no worries.  The next couple of days were rough thanks to Emy being congested and me also coming down with whatever crud she had.  Well I spent the rest of the week under the weather but Emberlynn rebounded super quick so I thought it was over.  The snotty nose persisted but stayed clear for the most part and she would randomly have a coughing fit but she wasn't acting sick.
Then yesterday happened.  She woke up with a low grade fever and her cough had gotten worse.  She's still not that sick but I just have this feeling I need to take her to see the pediatrician.  Well her ears and lungs are clear.  However her throat is a little red so they do a swab for strep and for RSV.  Honestly RSV never even crossed my mind so I was surprised when the doctor said she wanted to test for it.  I thought that was just a concern for infants.  Well turns out my precious toddler has RSV.  Thankfully for now it seems to be just a mild case.  She still isn't acting very sick.  The fever is gone.  She rarely coughs.  Just that darn snotty nose that is still clear in color.
So I say all of that to say this, mamas even though I'm new to this I know how challenging parenting can be.  Being responsible for a whole little human can be overwhelming.  But please trust yourself.  You know more than you think you do.  You know that feeling you get when you just know.  Face it, you've got mommy super powers.  Put them to good use.

I can't help...

But sit and admire my new header.  My beautiful baby girl is seventeen months old now, which is super hard to believe, and definitely coming into her own.  Her vocabulary is slowly building.  She's finally getting into eating solids even though she still nurses a good deal.  Oh and yes, I'm still nursing her with no plans to wean any time soon.  I realize that's a touchy topic but it's the best decision for us.  She's definitely a fiesty little one with a mind of her own.  She is a leader, rarely a follower.  She's just so cute.  Of course I'm biased, I know.  We have our rough days, but who doesn't when you're with someone pretty much 24/7, but I am truly blessed to have her in my life and love watching her learn and grow.

Trick or Treat!

While this wasn't Emberlynn's first Halloween (as she was five days old on Halloween last year), it was her first year to go trick-or-treating.  I'm pretty sure she didn't understand what was going on but she was a trooper.  We took turns carrying her and walked around my in-laws neighborhood.  After we made our rounds Emberlynn got to experience her first piece of candy and fell in love.  She has entered that stage where if you have food, she thinks she should too.  Candy is no different.

Enjoy more pictures...

She wouldn't stop running around so I could get her picture.  This was before going trick-or-treating.

First sucker.  It's a grape tootsie roll pop.

 I could blame this on the sugar but really Emy thinks anyone in the floor is fair game.

She loved the sucker!  And had a complete melt down when we took it away.

Despite being in head to toe pink, everyone but one person who commented on her gender thought she was a he.  People never cease to amaze me.  Overall it was a good experience though and the candy didn't seem to keep her awake.